People often see a new year as a clean start. We make resolutions to become better people and we vow to ourselves that “this year will be better than the last.”

This year, I will no longer try to be a “new me.” After some reflection, I’ve realized that my anxiety, fatigue and unhappiness with myself over the years is probably in part due to the fact I am constantly trying to be “new.” I always think I can do better, and as a result, I always think that I am not good enough. My therapist recently told me that no one is pressuring me to do better; I am putting that pressure on myself. My mind is constantly telling me that I need to change. If I never think I’m good enough, then how will I ever be happy with who I am?

It is healthy to desire change and to set achievable goals for yourself. It is not healthy to constantly wish you were a different person so that you can finally be happy. I believe that a desire to change needs to come out of a place of love for yourself, not self-loathing. So this year, I want to be happy with myself — just the way I am.