It’s hard to say exactly what time last year the coronavirus became real to me, because I was hearing unsettling reports from my parents in Italy throughout early February. But I remember a day when I was wiping down the couch, and it really hit me with a bolt of fear: Things were about to change.

As we continue to rush past horrific milestones and death counts, I can almost convince myself that I’ve become numb to bad news. But my lack of appetite and sleep tell a different story. Every day, our bodies and minds are being affected by this persistent and traumatic experience.

Sometimes, after having a particularly hard day, I’ll turn to my partner and say, “Why am I trying to feel normal when we’re in the middle of A GLOBAL PANDEMIC?” Even when we do reach a point when the virus is not a threat, we will be dealing with the damage to our collective psyche for years to come.