The Washington PostDemocracy Dies in Darkness

I’ve spent years trying to fix everyone else’s life. It’s time to tend to my own.

I’m so deeply invested in friends and family that I barely take care of myself

Perspective by
Lily contributor
May 29, 2019 at 12:16 p.m. EDT

As my seasonal depression begins to fade, I have been looking deep within myself to understand how and why I go to such dark places. Recently, I had cocktails with a friend. She revealed a nugget of truth about herself that was so powerful it made me reconsider how I value my relationships. Specifically, how I value them more than I value myself. I’m so deeply invested in my friends and family that I barely take care of myself. Often, after weeks of ignoring my own needs and boundaries, I crash hard. It’s time to start putting myself first. I am a strong advocate of helping loved ones, but you can’t serve others when your well has run dry.