It’s been a tough year. It’s hard to see the silver lining or the bright side, and yet when confronted with a “Hey, how have you been?” I often cheerfully reply, “I’m fine, you?”
In passing, it’s easy enough to throw out this lie. It’s polite, it’s expected. But when pressed for details, I crumble. The truth is, I haven’t been doing well, but personally it is extremely uncomfortable to watch someone’s face as I tell them we’ve been having a hard time. It’s so easy for me to be open and intimate on the Internet: the people liking my stories or posts are anonymous.
Face to face, intimacy and exposing myself is much harder. I’m trying to learn to sit in the discomfort, and not dismiss my own feelings for the comfort of others.
“I’m fine,” is getting banned from my vocabulary.