The Washington PostDemocracy Dies in Darkness

I craved being a mom. I wasn’t prepared to hate parenting.

I felt ashamed to tell anyone that I was feeling anything less than total, overwhelming love

Perspective by
Lily contributor
December 26, 2018 at 9:31 a.m. EST

As a newly licensed foster parent, I prepared myself for heartache and red tape. Despite that, as we waited for our first placement I was excited more than anything to be a mom.

When the day came and the reality didn’t match my understanding or expectations of motherhood, I struggled to come to terms with it. I felt ashamed to tell anyone that I was feeling anything less than total, overwhelming love for this small, disruptive addition to my life.

Society’s expectations of mothers are steep, and don’t allow for real conversations about what it means to be a parent. It’s a huge sacrifice of your lifestyle, and the expectation that we enjoy it even half of the time can be crushing, mentally and physically.