The Washington PostDemocracy Dies in Darkness

A chronic illness upended my life. I’m still trying to find a new normal.

Should I talk about my diagnosis on a first date? Tell my friends if I’m feeling particularly awful?

Perspective by
and 
August 11, 2019 at 9:20 a.m. EDT

Story by Aviva Loeb, illustrations by Katie Wheeler.

I’ve spent the past year battling a slew of weird symptoms and health problems. Finally, in March, I received a diagnosis. It’s been a terrifying experience that has tested me physically and mentally — a constant, nagging reminder that life can turn on a dime.

Sometimes I’ll feel normal for weeks in a row. Those days, when I feel okay, I wonder whether any of this is even real. But other days are spent frantically emailing my doctor to make sure my latest flare-up isn’t a sign of something more serious. I’m still figuring out how to approach my diagnosis. Should I talk about it on a first date? Tell my friends if I’m feeling particularly awful? How bad does my health have to get to justify taking a sick day?