The Washington PostDemocracy Dies in Darkness

6 women reflect on their experiences not celebrating Christmas

PERSPECTIVE | It can be an isolating time of year

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December 21, 2017 at 12:00 p.m. EST

There’s a lot to like about December, even if you’re not counting down the days until the Christmas.

I like the glow of Christmas lights at night and the window displays in the stores I pass.

I like learning about and sharing in my friends traditions.

I’m pretty sure “Elf” is one of the best movies ever made.

But the holiday season can also be a brutal reminder of a society that’s not quite as inclusive as it should be.

“Are you ready for Christmas?”

An innocent question, that I get asked all the time, while checking out at the grocery store, at the doctors office, by a co-worker I don’t know very well.

But here’s how it often plays out.

“Oh well, I’m Jewish so I actually don’t celebrate Christmas.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Well, at least you have Hanukkah,” they might follow up with.

Yes, Hanukkah, the gift giving, fried food filled festival of lights. It’s a wonderful and joyous holiday and it’s one that has become commercialized thanks to its proximity to the Dec. 25.

But that we liken Hanukkah to Christmas drives me nuts.

Yes, they both fall in December. (Hanukkah can begin anywhere between late November and early January.) And yes, gifts are exchanged. But that’s about where the similarities end.

It’s a really minor holiday in Judaism. Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah, Passover, even Shabbat, are religiously more significant.

It makes me feel welcome at a time of year where being different can feel extremely isolating.

But it’s a half hearted attempt at inclusion. We need to go further than that.

We should acknowledge the major holidays of all faiths, even when they don’t fall close to Christmas. We need thoughtful and educated recognition. Take time to learn why holidays celebrated and what that looks like. Show support and acceptance.

I think about this every year as the “holiday season” rolls around.

I was curious to know how other women who don’t celebrate Christmas perceive this time of year. So I asked.

Here are the experiences of six other women.

— Jayashree Sitaraman

— Gail Wood

— Mary

— Marni Morse

— Melissa Floyd

— Hannah