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6 ways ‘Fifty Shades Freed’ is like an episode of ‘House Hunters’

ANALYSIS | A seemingly unlimited budget, a house with ‘character’ and jobs that don’t make sense

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February 12, 2018 at 5:29 p.m. EST

Adapted from a piece by The Washington Post’s Sonia Rao.

Anastasia and husband Christian are newlyweds in rainy Seattle. She likes hanging out with friends near their condo in the city. He prefers hiding away in a mansion in the woods. While they squabble over their differing tastes and lifestyles, audience members come to the realization that these two should never have gotten married in the first place.

Here’s why this movie is basically an extended episode of “House Hunters.” (Warning: spoilers ahead.)

Three very different properties appear in “Fifty Shades Freed.”

Christian’s (Jamie Dornan) seemingly unlimited budget means these properties are as exciting as the ones in an episode of “House Hunters International.”

- The couple’s open-concept condo in the city.

- A Tudor mansion that Christian surprised Anastasia with.

- A swanky property in Aspen.

The most unintentionally funny parts of ‘Fifty Shades Freed’

The husband and wife have weird jobs that don’t make sense.

This is such a well-known “House Hunters” trope that it has its own meme account on Twitter.

Anastasia remarks that the Tudor “has character.”

The mansion that Christian surprises Anastasia with is rustic, meaning it’s somewhat dysfunctional and outdated. Anastasia says it has “character,” which is “House Hunters” code for a property that will fall apart a few years after purchase.

Gia, our real estate agent proxy, is problematic.

The realtors on “House Hunters” often make uncomfortable situations even worse, which is especially the case when Gia (Arielle Kebbel) discusses her plans to revamp the Tudor mansion. She continually hits on Christian and belittles Anastasia.

The surprising lessons we learned from the Fifty Shades trilogy. (Yes, really.)

Christian and Anastasia seem like a poor match.

Couples on “House Hunters” are never on the same page: She wants an open-concept floor plan and he loves walls, or he likes Spanish-style exteriors while she’s fond of brick. Christian and Anastasia also seem to have opposing opinions on basically everything, from sunbathing topless on a nude beach — “It’s boobs in boob-land,” she says to his irritated face — to having a child. (Shouldn’t they have discussed that one before getting married?)

You can start watching at any point and understand everything that’s happening.

The best thing about “House Hunters” is you can jump in at any point in the episode and still enjoy it. Half the fun is in watching the couple bicker or evaluating the homes for yourself, anyway. Similarly, the best thing about “Fifty Shades Freed” is that instead of a single plot, it goes for multiple story lines that get resolved every 10 minutes.